Lions and Tigers and Bears…

: Image by Jeff-b-f via Flickr

One clear challenge with parenting is the instinct to protect when exposure to an experience could aid the development process for the child. Or to protect when it just isn’t needed. Behind this I sense some level of projected neurosis, but lets remain on the level of how it might play out.

This past week while we were visiting the American Museum of Natural History, we needed to trek from one end of the building to the other to get in line for our viewing of the butterfly exhibit. I was carrying the baby (she’ll turn one in a little over a week) as we took a shortcut through the hall of the North American Mammals. It’s pretty dark in there, which got my attention and I began to monitor if she was feeling scared. Then rounding the corner, I hesitated, considering if I should cover her eyes and quickly head a different direction as two stuffed Kodiak bears, one standing at least seven and a half feet tall, loomed up in the case next to us. Before I could react, a huge smile spread over her face as she pointed and made some indiscernible sounds that could easily be translated as “Wow.” Silly daddy.

I hearken back to the gruesomeness of the original Grimm’s fairy tales and consider what we have lost by the Disney-fication of these lessons. It’s seems that we have collectively accented to a teflon coated mythology in order to shield ourselves and our children from the raw, perhaps harsh realities of life. Does that serve us? Does it serve them?

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Henie

Isn't it a dichotomy that in our earnest desire to teach our children, we stress over and over that they can be (and do) anything they want to be...and then entirely miss the next nuance we interject...that suddenly we need to catch them from a fall?

"The magic of all children is they believe they can fly...until we hint otherwise!" ~Henie~

<abbr>Henie´s last blog post..Sempiternal Glow</abbr>

Richard Reeve

Hi Henie,
Yes it's paradoxical, isn't it. Love the flying quote. I so try to do what I can to keep my son;s imagination active and not extinguish it, or at least contribute to the extinguishing of it.

Susan/Together We Flourish

Sometimes children need to be allowed to form their own perception of something. As adults we often label something as good or bad when it simply is. As an example I have one son who was scared to death in a haunted house that was designed for children, while the younger one laughed and played with the characters in the house. Yes, it is our responsibility to protect our children, but not to the point of denying them to form their own perceptions.

<abbr>Susan/Together We Flourish´s last blog post..North Hills Youth Ministry Needs Volunteers to Tutor</abbr>

Richard Reeve

Hello Susan,
Your comment is a great addition to this topic. I love the contrast between the two sons at the haunted house. Parenting is an amazing journey.

Douglas Cootey

I am the type of parent that believes that a child should be allowed to scuff his/her knees while learning. At the same time, however, I hold a tight leash. There are some scuffs that should be avoided. Experiences like abuse & violence should be protected against at all costs. Consequently, because of experience, I don't allow sleep overs or let them wander the neighborhood (we live in the city), but I do allow hours and hours of activity filled days where they learn and grow and even fail while we wait in the wings.

I do feel, however, that we as parents have a tendency to overprotect as you found yourself doing. We are responsible for protecting them, so we can't be faulted for motive. We just need to make sure that our protection doesn't deny them opportunities for growth.

Good post.

<abbr>Douglas Cootey´s last blog post..The Pile That Ate My Day - One Man's Tale of Vanquishing ADHD Boredom</abbr>