We do what we do, get it?.

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With my interest in psychology, I tend to look for where collective attitudes are hiding the shadow. It’s what I do. Within all the enthusiasm of the #sxsw conference, where the main currency was idea exchange and business proposal, I continued to hear in a variety of situations the repetition of one phrase:

“They don’t get it.”

A powerful group of words setting up many dynamics: Us versus them creates exclusivity and exclusion. It implies they lack of smarts, thereby elevating those in the know. Then there’s the grand abstraction, one of the most incredible of mystery words…it.

I once stumbled on a flower like drawing by the logician C. S. Peirce. In the center of the flower he had the word “it” and all along the surrounding petals he presented dozens of categorical relationships of how one could understand just what “it” actually meant, including the greatest of mysteries, the divine it. But then there’s another way of looking at “it”, simply called the dummy pronoun.

So how does this phrase serve the community? Innovation takes risk, courage and a confidence in standing alone. These dynamics are a given. My concern is that for an innovating community, collective reliance on such a throw away phrase misses the mark. Let me just throw out one note of caution. There’s an old maxim. When you point the finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at you.

One more thing about the “they don’t get it” mantra. It sets one up for to be continually on the run, trying to keep ahead. Why? Because it drops the inevitable last word…Yet.

As Chris Brogan has a way of tweeting lately, “just saying…”

patti digh

If you've read Keith Johnstone's brilliant book, Impro, you'll remember that this "they don't get it" phenomenon is an expression of status (not in terms of what is afforded us by birth but by what we do). Every interaction is one of status - country music, for example, is masterful at lowering the status of the singer, which is why it works. Humor is a great example of status play, lowering and raising one's status. The "they don't get it" (or any similar kind of exclusionary language) you're discussing is an expression of status-by-reducing-the-status-of-others. Never have enjoyed that.

<abbr>patti digh´s last blog post..Life is a Verb hits jolly old England (and Europe)</abbr>

ccseed

Hey Patti,
Thanks for linking what I'm saying here to the Johnstone's book and for introducing me and other readers to it.

Sue James

So, so true! Great post.

I sometimes say modern society can be like a turtle tank - where all are swimming around madly either snapping or pulling their heads in. :-) If we want to co-create the world we'd like to see, we need to climb out of the turtle tank, surrender defensiveness and refuse to play the blame game.

In many years of working across sectors and groups with a focus on developing collaboration, I'd be very wealthy now if I had a dollar for every time I've heard "They just don't get it" ... with "They" replaced by the name of any group that is seen as 'other'.

It's true that innovation does take "risk, courage and a confidence in standing alone". But at some point those we see as 'other' do need to be brought into the circle - or innovations won't stick and won't spread. We could find ourselves left all alone out there in a very lonely place, however innovative it might be, preaching only to the converted. :-)

In my experience, enlarging the circle to bring all voices into that space, inclusive of 'otherness', is very powerful. If the space is maintained as a conversational one - involving the sharing of stories, dreams and hopes, not only information or ideas - people always find commonalities as well as differences.

The things they have in common help to unite them across the 'otherness' divide - and also help them at least to sit quietly enough with the differences to explore what gifts those might bring to the conversation.

This is certainly very challenging at times - it can seem so much easier to plan, develop and innovate when bouncing ideas around with like-minded folk. But the way I see it, if any innovation is going to be truly transformational (for organisations, communities or globally) it needs to be inclusive of the 'other'.

This certainly doesn't mean all differences are resolved - nor should they be! It's about a shift in perspective so that the 'other' is accepted as an important part of the conversation - and differences are honoured as valuable contributions to the whole.

I apologise in advance for a very old cliche - but after all, it's the sand in the oyster that makes the pearl. :-)

ccseed

Hi Sue, what a great comment, thanks for the effort you put into composing it. Very useful.

Hillary

I used to look at life like that. "They" were always out to ruin everything until I realized how depressing it was to view life through a lens of dualism: a right and wrong, us versus them.

<abbr>Hillary´s last blog post..Safe Household Cleaners</abbr>

Mary H Ruth

Your SxSW experience is a common one these days, I think. Pretty much everyone around me doesn't 'get it.' And Twitter is mostly social media types. We who are enjoying these tools are in the tiny minority. Noticed you introduced an author friend to tweeting today - right on! Education and sharing are where it's at.

<abbr>Mary H Ruth´s last blog post..32-hour work week</abbr>

Maria Lavis

Beautiful pithy piece intervieving so many things! Reminders of Jung's view of evil and culpability (ultimately we are ALL responsible so if "they don't get it" and WE do, then why aren't we doing our job to help them get it? if we are sitting here watching them fall, but we know better, then we are the guilty), Buddhist ideas of interrelatedness and Buber's I and Thou.

At same time, very direct and easy to understand. If you are propped up on your high horse, maybe take a peek and settle down. Offer someone else a ride. It's not a competition as much as we think it is. We're all in this together. Glad I found this article.

<abbr>Maria Lavis´s last blog post..Finding Inspiration - Documenting a Creative Journey</abbr>

Screwed Up Texan

Perhaps those who say, "they just don't get it," should explain themselves better so we can "get it." You're correct that phrase does add a seperation from Us and Them.