The Gift of the Unfollow

by Richard Reeve on April 15, 2009

in @CCSeed

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Each week hundreds of folks that at one point made a decision to follow me on twitter make another decision to unfollow me.  In many ways, the unfolllow is the greater gift and more useful.  With each person that moves on to different if not greener pastures, the value of the social linkages that are developing gets strengthened.

I made a decision some six months ago to emulate the reciprocal follow practice implemented by the thought leaders in this space I most respect.   As part of that process, the reciprocity extends to the unfollow.  When I follow someone I seldom know what’s in store, but with each unfollow it’s clear:  just wiping the dust from the old sandals as they say.

How do you understand the network that is growing up around you in this space?


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  • Life is too short to follow folks who don't interest you. And the twitter feed becomes to burdensome. When folks follow me I tend to either check out their past tweets or just follow for a while. If something catches my eye in a positive way I upgrade them on Tweetdeck - If it's negative they go bye-bye very quickly. If I don't notice them, that's a shame.

    <abbr>Fred H Schlegel´s last blog post..Physics and Ideation: Ways To Unleash Creativity</abbr>
  • Thanks for taking the time to comment Fred.
  • Thank you for this reflection. At first when I signed up with Twitter, I followed back anyone who followed me, as I read all the advice about reciprocity saying this was the sensible, correct and courteous thing to do. Apart from the really obvious spam/scam followers (Oh the joys of free Macbooks!) I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt and followed back.

    But since then, although I'm relatively new to Twitter, I've also become tired of too many marketing pitches and those folk who are obviously mainly focused on the follower-numbers game, so I've become much more selective.

    Like Mary, for every new follower I always read bio, tweets and website (if there is one) and if there's nothing there that sparks for me, I don't follow back straight away. It doesn't mean I won't later - just that right now there's nothing that has engaged me.

    And so far so good.

    I've found new followers who 'stay around' when I don't immediately follow back seem to be those who will (at some point shortly aftwards) reply to one of my tweets or post a tweet that prompts me to reply. Which means that I follow them in my turn and we're off on a shared path anyway.

    It seems as if those who follow primarily to add another number to their follower list just won't stay the distance. :-) Unless I follow back immediately, within 24 hours or so they're gone again. I'm unfollowed and that particular ship has passed in the night.
  • ted
    Richard: Good post. I've been struggling with this lately. I try to be reciprocal, but I'm really tired of the MLM guys and their spammy stuff. I'm feeling a big culling approaching, a spring cleaning if you will. Thanks for the perspective.

    <abbr>ted´s last blog post..Off Season But On Top Of It</abbr>
  • This is only tangentially related, but I've stopped following celebs on Twitter that I don't care abt in real life, esp ones who arent saying anything interesting or funny, and it feels great!

    This whole clamor between Ashton Kutcher and CNN to see who can get the most followers is lame, lame, lame. Def prefer quality over quantity.

    I like this attitude you have for the unfollow, hope Ashton and Mrs. Kutcher appreciated mine half as much :~j
  • I don't reciprocal-follow; I look at the person's bio and see if there's a fit. Many folks are just looking for numbers; we have nothing in common. Others may have picked up on a single word in a single tweet and thought we had something in common; I don't follow them either. I have only just begun to unfollow folks that I did think would be interesting but have found that no longer to be the case. I don't get upset when someone unfollows me; I hope the same is true on the other side.

    <abbr>Mary McRae´s last blog post..Home Again</abbr>
  • That's quite an insight. As I unfollow and get unfollowed, I feel I'm getting to know my network better, and improving the quality of my twitterstream. It's good to do a good audit of the people you follow, now and then, to get rid of the chaff.

    <abbr>David Cain´s last blog post..9 Thoughts Worthy of Immortality</abbr>
  • I've often thought of this lately. To me, twitter is about building and fostering relationships--whether for business or for personal. I often wonder why someone decides to follow me. Do they follow me just because they are trying to rank up their numbers and so I am one of 60K that they really don't care about or are they following me b/c they are genuinely interested in what I have to say or post? I see the unfollow as a positive notion as it allows others into my stream that I value more. I dont mind when others unfollow me (and really I don't take count) and I hope others dont take it personally when I unfollow them.

    <abbr>Screwed Up Texan´s last blog post..Only in Texas</abbr>
  • if i find someone to be a valuable follow, i won't unfollow as a tit for tat...if they haven't left an impression on me, it's definitely a chopping block scenario! either way it's all good...we can't follow everyone!

    <abbr>chas´s last blog post..twt: the rush to conclude</abbr>
  • I couldn't agree more. It has taken me a while to learn the importance of those I follow and why people are following me. In the end, it all shakes out for the better.
  • I am not sure about the unfollow's on Twitter, but I just invited my email list to unfollow and some have. Which has created more space for me to allow others to enter. I was feeling burdended when I sent emails to this one group and it must have been energetically weighing us both down. Glad I followed my intuition & your post confirms this.
    Thanks
  • Hi Richard,
    I think this goes back to a question we visited months ago--reach versus traffic. Is it the numbers or type of people we follow that's important. I've found myself unfollowing people lately. They're perfectly nice people. However, the focus of their tweets isn't what I'm looking for. Instead of feeling frustrated by them, I thought wow just unfollow. Sometimes it does feel a little ungenerous to unfollow someone, but it's just clearing a path for something new.

    <abbr>Mary-Frances´s last blog post..My Sordid Relationship with Romance Novels</abbr>
  • This is hitting the nail on the head. It's about quality on Twitter, especially with the "mainstream" component. I think the days of value through quantity are falling behind us. Great thought.

    <abbr>dave macdonald´s last blog post..Layman’s Story of Professional Development in Second Life</abbr>
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