AziMuth

We are prone to anxiety.  Perhaps we have a weak immune system.  Or maybe it’s some other weak link in the chain of our being…self esteem, cancer, shame, manipulation, fear.

Regardless of who we are, the weak links exist.  While our lived responses might have contributed to making those links even weaker, the fact is that we all have to play the cards we are dealt.

Often times the youth I work with will take an inordinate responsibility for many things about themselves that are outside their control, while dismissing the actions that they did willfully unleash on their loved ones and the world.  Deep self loathing is directed at the cards they have been dealt.  It’s as if they have become paralyzed by the facts of themselves.

Much of the initial focus with these youths is getting them to accept the cards life has dealt them.  It’s a huge turn in their journey when they can stop fretting about the cards and begin to consider how to best work with them.

A huge transformation takes place when we become conscious of ourselves not just as we want to be, but as we actually are, including the darkness and the weakness.  With acceptance, these aspects begin to get integrated.  Then our strengths can work in conjunction with them.  Conversely, when we only strive after what we wish we were, our strengths work against our weaknesses.

Depression has been defined as anger turned within.  Acceptance in the form of compassion turned within creates an unexpected pathway that has all the spiritual hallmarks of liberation and joy.

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“well, my window
looked out on the Squero where Ogni Santi
meets San Trovaso
things have ends and beginnings”

Ezra Pound, Canto 76

As we turn the page on the aughts and plunge headlong into the next decade I find myself taking the measure of the emerging Self.

What were your most pressing concerns at Y2K?  Do you remember?  And today’s concerns, will they have any bearing in 2020?

As I attempt to wring the essence of out of my accrued life and at times feel dismay at the predominance of ashes over burning coals, I’m struck by the accurate assessment I found in Thich Nhat Hanh:  “The Question that arises:  Do you have time to love?”

All else is ashes…

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Lately I’ve been learning how to play, in a metaphorical sort of manner, speed chess. Let me explain.  As my training progresses one of the main challenges for me has been to open up to the multiple options in any given situation.  My tendency has been to lean heavily on one type of response, primarily the intuitive response.

Chess puts us in the mind frame of considering multiple options including the potential of any move in relationship to later strategic opportunities.  Where the metaphor falls flat is that chess is hyper-rational, a little intuitive.

The variety of moves I’m learning to incorporate take into consideration the other functions of the ego as well, including feeling and sensation.  The challenge is while learning to implement new maneuvers is getting them up to speed.  Life happens and pretty fast when you re-enter a novice mind…no? Your move.

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