parenting

“The child knows a natural reverie of solitude which we must not confuse with that of the sulky child.  In his happy solitude, the dreaming child experiences cosmic reverie – that reverie which unites us with the world.” Gaston Bachelard, “The Alchemy of Imagination,” in On Poetic Imagination and Reverie, pg. 96

In my work with at-risk teens it’s an interesting problem.  Often the behaviors that manifest are either skewed toward seeking attention at any cost or they swing dangerously toward an isolation that is unhealthy.  Finding comfort with the solitude of childhood is a door that seems to have been nailed shut.

Bachelard’s portrait of happy solitude gives us an image of the sought after attitude.  It fleshes out the gospel saying “unless you become like a child” and can open our eyes to that beautiful occurrence if we stumble upon it.

If my son is in the next room playing, I do my best not to shatter his imaginative space.  Instead, if a transition is needed to some different event, I honor the activity underway.  Though a few questions I get the lay of his imaginative landscape before placing any demands for moving on to a new situation.

Allowing for a staged release is not easy.  The imagination is always ready to pop like a bubble, essentially denying its existence. This has been a huge challenge for me as an adult. Often when waking in the morning, the demands of the day consume my attention before I’m able to process the hypnogogic imagery that wishes to tie consciousness to the previous night’s dreams.

So much of what we find ourselves up against are collective defenses that have gone into forming ego consciousness over the millennia. The way forward paradoxically requires incorporating a piece we discarded.  In the end, it’s about living in a manner that honors the imaginal realm.

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